i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
