life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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