I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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