I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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