Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize