Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The struggles of a small town man whore
FUCK WHALES
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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