CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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