lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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