I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
