I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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