I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
