make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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