Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
