come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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