I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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