i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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