I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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