I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize