So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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