okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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