its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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