I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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