hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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