Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
