I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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17 year olds will be the death of me.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
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I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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