you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
