She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i black out too much to be "responsible"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
