Me. At least after what I've been through.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Is it penis luge time yet?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
