Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
