But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He felt like a one man threesome
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
