my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
