We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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