i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
