I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
why do cheetos always look like penises
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
