Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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