I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
