What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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