Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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