where am i from again
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
