Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
