This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
