Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
