I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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