I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
