No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
