There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When are your genitals available?
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