I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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