brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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