were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
