Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
