i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
