Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
