There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
