a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize