you turned your livingroom into a bong?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
