At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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