My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
