I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
