i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
