Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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