I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
